The official Missouri Tartan?  Sure. 

So every year,  you know that the Missouri laws change, and some things get updated.  So now, we have some more official Missouri Stuff to celebrate!

For example, now we have an Official Missouri Endangered Species.

Photo by MDC Staff, courtesy Missouri Department of Conservation.
Photo by MDC Staff, courtesy Missouri Department of Conservation.

According to the Missouri Department of Conservation, Hellbenders (rad name, btw) are salamanders that live in water.

They have a wide, flat head with tiny eyes and a broad and vertically compressed, rudderlike tail. The body and legs are covered with prominent folds of skin. A hellbender's coloration is a combination of browns or grayish browns. Some dark markings occur on the back and tail, but they lack a distinct pattern. The belly is yellowish-brown belly. During breeding season (late summer and early autumn), they may have an overall reddish brown color.

I guess it's to try to raise awareness about their population?  I don't know. I just know that name is Super Cool.

I knew the official tree of Missouri was the Dogwood, but now we have an official Fruit Tree, too - the Pawpaw tree.


I  have never heard of a Pawpaw fruit in my life.  I guess that's part of my Patrick Star Syndrome.  I looked it up,and discovered that the Pawpaw trees fruit in about October and they are  "Banana-shaped, cylindrical, 3–5 inches long, green at first and yellow when ripe; pulp sweet, edible, with custardy texture."  Custardy texture?  I don't know if I can handle that.

And finally, now we have a Tartan! What's a tartan, you may ask?  It's the special patterns of plaid on kilts.  Each one represents something, and it can get very complex.  Apparently we're the 29th state to pick an official tartan.  According to the Scottish St Andrew Society of Greater St Louis, the official Missouri tartan is like this:

The design is derived from four inspiring symbols of the state of Missouri, the Eastern Bluebird, the Missouri Mule, the Crescent Moon, and the Bear. The green and blue lines represent the fields,rivers,woodlands, streams, and Ozark Mountains of Missouri. The light blue, red, and white stripes represent the Eastern Bluebird and ideals found in our state flag: vigilance, justice, valor, and purity. The first band of brown represents the Missouri Mule, and therefore our steadfastness, sturdiness, and industriousness. The narrow band of light blue crossing the Ozark Mountains represents the Crescent Moon, reminding us of our potential for prosperity and our status as the second state to be forged out of the Louisiana Purchase. The second band of brown represents the Grizzly Bear, a symbol of strength. Hence, this pattern stands for: vigilance and justice, valor, purity, steadfastness, hope, and strength.

WOAH.  That's deep, man.  Now I know why Husbando gets all worked up about kilts sometimes.  There's some serious stuff going on there.

So what do you think of our new "officials"?  I think they're pretty cool, myself!

Officially yours,

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