Ladies, I don't have to tell you, sometimes clothes shopping can be a struggle. 

Well. I suppose I should only speak for myself, really.  But I think some of you might understand what I'm talking about on this.  I've talked about it before, honestly.

Let's just be real. I'm not being mean to myself, but honest, okay?


I'm short.  On a good day, I crack five feet three inches in height.  I'm also.... pudgy.  To put it nicely.  Hell, most people have a few more pounds than they'd like, right? Right. I'm working on it. Seriously, ask them down at the Heckart, I'm there a few afternoons a week at least.

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SO anyway, it is very very hard to find clothes that fit people like me. In general, it's difficult to find something that works all the time, every time.  An eight in one brand is an eleven in another, and the numbers themselves are just... arbitrary, let's just say it. Pants are a nightmare (I cannot tell you how many times I've been disappointed by fake pockets in khakis).  Dresses are a guessing game. Skirts might be knee length on the average person, but on me, they're to the floor.

I mean, they look good on Mark, and Doyoung, but.... anyway.

It's not like men's jeans, where you can measure down the leg and around the waist and be done.  I've worn men's pants before, and they were fine, but... again, not right.  And you feel like your high school history teacher, wearing sansabelt slacks and signing hall passes.  Not that Mr. Decker's fashion wasn't on point.  But I think you understand.


Let's simplify all that to one item.  Jeans.  Sure, you can just try to find a pair that fits, but... it never does.  Or it does, until it just doesn't anymore.  Not quite right, that is.  Not the way you'd want it to, I guess. Like, it might be just the right length of leg, but it's too tight in the butt.  Or, it fits fine on the waist, but the leg room might as well be a parachute.  Or, you find legs that aren't too wide or long... and the top button cuts into your tummy a little whenever you wear it. 

too small jeans
Alexander Raths


And trying to find something that fits, but also looks right, is even more of a challenge.  I just want to wear a normal pair of jeans. I don't need jeans that are so skinny that I can't take them off my ankles without a support team.  I don't need jeans so big that I get my pant legs stuck in the car door.  And no, I don't need anything written on the butt (I appreciate your right to speak via clothing, but... I will never, ever wear that in public). No fashionable removed knees or whatever they're called.  Regular fit too, don't give me a pair of pants meant to be capris on a taller woman. Please, no sparkles or glitter.  No rhinestones, either.  AND PLEASE DON'T COST HUNDREDS.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting to find these for free, but just not, you know.... Lisa Expensive.

Trying to find something that fits all of those qualifications is hard.


If you're like me, you had kind of given up on the search.  I found a general wardrobe that works....okay. I figured that's just the best I get.  I mean, that's just the way I was always told it works.  "Don't like it? Lose weight!".  We were always told that most women aren't sized like us.  So we should accept that we're not normal, and apparently our money isn't good in some stores.

But then.  Guys.

I found them.



Well, they're not 100% perfect, but they're.....99.65%.  They fit in the butt and the legs, not too tight, not too loose, and they're a nice NORMAL color with a soft texture.  Nothing written on the leg or the butt, but it does have a little "fake destressing" or whatever it's called. No gaping holes in the knees (or anywhere, though), so that's a win.  They're slightly pricey but not too bad (most styles are way under a c note, they just, you know, cost more than $40. I guess that was the normal price I thought jeans for me were?).


I'm almost hesitant to tell you about these, because what if you guys buy them all up and then I can't find them anymore?  Or maybe I SHOULD tell you guys, and maybe demand will eventually  necessitate the company to make more?


Well, I'm going to keep buying them, anyway. I've got two pairs I'm wearing in rotation (you know, jean days), and I've got two old pairs I'm going to fix up and re-wear.  That's how dedicated I am to these pants, you guys.  I am going to patch and cling to these things for as long as I can, and when they get beyond repair.... I WILL CUT THEM INTO SHORTS AND WEAR THEM IN THE SUMMER BECAUSE I AM NEVER, EVER, LETTING THESE GO.


Democracy jeans, you are my valentine this year.  You're the best.  I love you.  Please never, ever go away, and let me re-order this same pair of jeans over and over and over again for the rest of time.  And also, please don't change them.

Well, you can add more products, sure.  But just leave these alone.

Desperately yours,


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Gallery Credit: Madison Troyer


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