The Ten Commandments of Truman Lake Etiquette
When I was a kid, we went to the pool a lot, but we also went down to Truman Lake more than enough times. I'm sure you have, too. It's not a super long drive, you can play all day, and everybody has fun. Or, so you'd think. By now we should have this thing figured out, but doesn't look like it.
Well, maybe we can learn and grow a little together with the Ten Commandments of Truman Lake Etiquette.
1. Thou shalt not shake out thy towels close to thy neighbor.
That's just rude! You're getting sand everywhere! It's bad enough that I'm probably going to have sand in my shoes for the next two weeks. Get it together!
2. If Thou bringeth a boom box, thou shalt keep the volume down.
I don't care how good you think your music is. I don't want to hear it. Keep it up and it's going to be all polka all the time from my towel.
3. Thou shalt not cramp thy neighbor when thou chooseths yon spot.
Give it a few feet, come on. It's probably more accurate to say give it about five feet at least. I don't want my stuff touching your stuff, and I'm sure you don't want my feet on your towel.
4. Thou shalt not swim past the designated areas.
You're giving all the boaters a heart attack! This is about relaxing, people. Having fun. It's not about putting yourself in danger.
5. Thou shalt not change at the beach.
You should have put on your suit under your clothes at home. That's the way it works. That is just common decency. It doesn't matter if your whole family are holding up towels. If you absolutely HAVE to change at Truman, go to the bathrooms.
6. Thou shalt not leave trash lying around.
That should be a rule for just life in general. Would your Mom be proud of that soda can you left there? I don't think so.
7. Thou shalt control temper tantrums amongst thy kin.
If Junior is upset about something, take him away from the group or something. And I guess it doesn't exclude adults, either - if Dad has had a little too much to drink and starts hollering, he needs a time out, too.
8. Thou shalt keep toys to thyself.
That means drones, balls, buckets, frisbees, and all of it. Don't bring your party into mine, jackson. The kids wanna play together? Great. That doesn't mean they have to run over my towel.
9. Thou shalt not bother anything living in the lake.
I once saw a grown man holding a very small fish in his hand, shaking it around all over. That's not cool by any stretch of the imagination. You're intruding on THEIR territory, mister. Keep it classy.
10. Thou shalt use caution when thou parketh.
Don't be a jerk. Park carefully, and don't get too close to the lines. A lot of people need to use this same parking lot, it's not just about you. I don't care if you think somebody is going to ding your door with theirs so you park on the line so nobody could park right next to you. You're an adult and the state of Missouri has issued you a driver's license. Use your knowledge.
Verily, now go and partaketh in yon fun at thou's lake area.