Back when I was a single lady, I thought I had a general idea of what marriage would be like. I was pretty much right, since Husbando and I lived together for a spell back when he was still Boyfriendo.  The basic arrangement is the same, he does the majority of the cleaning (dishes, laundry vacuuming) and I pay the bills, do grocery shopping, etc.  But, there are several things that I am required by Wifely Duty to do, and part of that includes Man Maintenance.

Husbando has very thick, quick growing hair. He likes to keep it short, and would probably go bald if I let him (I don't want him to look like a skinhead! Is that too much to ask?!).  So every other month or so, I sit him down in the kitchen, put a towel around his shoulders, and break out Dad's clippers.  Yes, I give him haircuts.  They end up looking fine, you know those things have the little attachments you can put on so it looks the same.  And he doesn't want any kind of "styling" he just, you know, wants the hair gone. So I do it, and it's probably like, a whole cat worth of hair on the floor.

One quality about Husbando is that he sometimes has shaky hands. Not all the time, but sometimes.  So back when he was Boyfriendo, we got into the little routine that I would cut his fingernails for him.  Back then, he would just bite his nails whenever they got too long.  Of course that can turn bad, so I had to, you know, take over. And only like, three times has his fingernail suddenly shot up my nose.

I'm not kidding about that.  

Husbando also is a dude that could be primarily consisted of snacks. He's a dude who maybe eats one full meal a day, and the rest of the time he is on and off snacking on something or other.  I try to provide somewhat good snacks, so sometimes it's something not great like a Cheezit, sometimes it's a dried mango, sometimes its a low fat cheese, etc.  Of his snacking habits, a good 75% of it is chips and salsa.  However, Husbando can't have corn or corn related products anymore due to a digestive issue he has.  So, we had to find an alternative.  I saw online that you can bake up Won Ton wrappers and make them into chips.  I do that about once a week now and he likes them just fine. The added bonus is since I season them myself, there's a lot less added salt than a regular tortilla chip.

I'm sure over the years I'll be adding some things to the list of Man Maintenance. Is there something you do with your partner that would be the equivalent of my Man Maintenance?  What kind of things do you do for your S.O?

Maintenacingly yours,

Behka

 

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