The Sedalia Snack Squad Takes On: Brazil
In our continued efforts to understand our worldly brethren, we're trying another sample of snacks from our friends in the Amazon. And not Jeff Bezos, either! Anyway. I got the upgrade on sale (two more bucks!) and so we have a Super Sized Box this month. Less yackin, more snackin!
Cory Pao Dimel.
Behka: These look appetizing. Little balls of chocolate. The chocolate smells... different. It's a farmiliar smell, but I can't place it. Oh, that's very dry. And not that sweet. You know what they remind me of? Stale chocolate covered marshmallows. Which doesn't make sense because it says this is cake. I'm not going to finish that.
Husbando: Oh. It's not good. Its not terrible, but it's not good. It has a burnt taste to it that I don't care for.
Jenn: I heard some scuttlebutt around the office that these are good. I mean, cake filled cookies??!!?!?! That sounds like my dream! Turns out it's just ok, I am going to go reevaluate my dreams.
Ryan: Not bad, its soft like a graham cracker covered in chocolate. Not near as crunchy, but I like it. Approval.
Behka: This has coconut on the label. It instantly smells of an Almond Joy. Coconut and those little Voortman wafers you got from your Grandma. That's not bad! This seems like something a Brazilian kid would get in their bag at Halloween. Do they go trick or treating in Brazil? That was tasty.
Husbando: Very melty. This.. oh. *Spits it out into a napkin* No. That's gross. I hate the taste of artificial coconut.
Jenn: I see a picture of a coconut on here. So I'm already skeptical. Its like a Toblerone with coconut, meh.
Behka: Bright packaging! It instantly smells like GoGurt. These feel like those sugar covered gum drops you get at Christmas. Yes, that's what it tastes like, too. A sugar covered gum drop that............tastes like yogurt. That's just weird. Not exactly unpleasant, but close. It's like, rightthere to unpleasant.
Husbando: This tastes like banana yogurt. That's delicious.
Jenn: They look like those little mints I like to steal from weddings but taste like cream savers. Side note: BRING BACK CREAM SAVORS.
Ryan: I thought they would taste like gumdrops. There is a brief citrus flavor but the aftertaste is kind of weird. Not my favorite.
Behka: I see kebabs on the barbecue... being grilled by a squirrel wearing a cowboy outfit. Please tell me this isn't squirrel flavored. I cannot describe the smell. I don't think I've smelled something like that before. Not that it's gross, it's just... different. You know what it might smell like? Hominy. Oooh! That's nice. Very crispy, but not super crunchy. It's kinda like a Bugle without the texture. It gives you the aftertaste that a cheese puff does. Not bad!
Husbando: Is this squirrel!? I hope it's squirrel. It tastes like meat. You know you get those novelty chips from the store that are supposed to taste like ribs? This is like those, it just tastes like barbecue meat.
Jenn: Like a delicious, crunchy packing peanut. I AM SOLD.
Ryan: I enjoyed this. It was light with just a hint of a salty flavor. Not overpowering.
Behka: In every box, they have littler candies they call a "Yum Bag". I've been burned by these several times. I'm hoping this one will change that. Coconut again, okay. OH! It's not chocolate! It's white! It looks like there's sugar on the outside. You know what, it's a little drier version of the inside of a Mounds bar. Without the chocolate. Not as good, though.
Husbando: Eugh, not more coconut. I hate fake coconut. Wait. This is nice. This tastes like real coconut. That I like. It doesn't surprise me that they would use real coconut in Brazil.
Jenn: Ughhhhhhhhhh more coconut. It’s not that I hate coconut I'm just not a fan, ya know? Aaaaand its dried coconut squashed together. Hard Pass.
Ryan: I did not care for this candy treat at all. I really hate coconut flavor.
Amori Mousse De Limao.
Behka: This is what the extra two bucks bought me, alright! This looks exactly like a Vooortman wafer. Except I'm also getting lemon. I guess that's the flavor of the cream. They really like wafers in Brazil. Well, I guess it's the same company as the other one, so that's probably a stretch. Yeah, they're exactly like those little wafers you get in the grocery store towards the back. Not too sweet, pleasant enough.
Husbando: Oh, more wafers. Do I smell lemon? Yep, that's lemon. It's nice. It's just like a wafer cookie.
Jenn: LEMON WAFER COOKIES!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ryan: I'm not a huge fan of lemon flavor but this was a tolerable wafer snack.
Behka: I don't know what Festa means, but I hope it means the same as Fiesta. Very colorful! Firm yet squishy texture. I'm guessing this is another gumdrop, only covered with rainbow sprinkles. OH. Oh good lord. NO. I have to spit this out. It's like eating a sickeningly sweet dollop of poison covered in sprinkles that fall off it as you chew. And the sprinkles are harder than you'd think. It's not a good texture. I don't like that At All.
Husbando: Either everyone loved these or there weren't many in the package. Oh, it's squishy. The sprinkles are nice. Oh, that's... *struggles to find words* it's just like bubble gum with sprinkles! It hurts my teeth!
Jenn: I saw these happy little dudes, all covered in sprinkles and was stoked. Then I ate one and was like ‘BEHKA WHY DO YOU HATE ME AND GIVE ME POISON. BLECH BLECH BLECH’
Ryan: They look amazing but the aesthetic value is the only good thing. The sprinkles are deceiving. The snack is chewy and has a funky taste. Nope!
Behka: Okay, so grandma and kid are on the label, I see a soccer ball. Maybe this will be a homey treat. Is the soccer ball on the packaging because they look like soccer balls? They do. They look like white soccer balls. I don't get much of a smell. This tastes like stale Honey Smacks. Dig 'Em Frog would be bitterly disappointed. Brazil, you are letting me DOWN. Another miss for me.
Husbando: Hmm. This seems familiar. Oh yeah, this is just like a cereal I used to have as a kid. My mom would buy me the "healthy" version of sugar cereals. It tasted like this.
Jenn: This tastes like a cheerio that has been in my car for two months but I get really hungry one day and think ‘meh, this is food I’ll eat it.’ I offered one to my boss and she thought I was giving her a human tooth. So that was awkward.
Ryan: Basically tastes like Cheerios. I enjoy them. Probably make a good travel snack for long road trips. Very light and tasty.
Behka: Alright, Delicitos, please be Deliciouser. I smell corn. Okay, we might be on the right track here. Okay, now these I can party with. I like 'em. They're just a little bit spicy, a nice almost flaky chip consistency, if that makes sense. They're in a bunch of different sizes. I'm getting just the flavor of jalapeno, but not the pain of it. This is the best one so far.
Husbando: The consistency is just like those crispy won ton strips you get with hot and sour soup. Crispy, but peppery. I would eat a whole bag of these.
Jenn: I am like 99% sure this means ‘delicious’ in Portuguese. THE NAME DOESN’T LIE! They are like crunchy pillows of slightly spicy snack magic. Dang, I need some more.
SNACKS! Pimenta Calabresa.
Behka: I don't need to know how to speak their language to know what a pepper means. They look like the little cheese snacks you get in a Chex Mix. Immediately I get a pepper smell. They're not spicy. They're pleasant, just not much to 'em. It's like they decided to make a stick Cheezit and put some pepper on it. I was expecting some FIRE. I did not get it, but it's okay.
Husbando: Oh, maybe these will be spicy. Nope. They're fine. I wouldn't sit and eat them while watching tv. The things in the bar mix are better.
Jenn: I am a fan of the name. It gets straight to the point, no wondering what it is. There is enough mystery in life, so I’m glad Snacks! isn’t messing around. Anyways, they aren’t bad, they kind of taste like a funion cheeto baby. I could see myself accidentally eating a whole bag.
Ryan: Totally tasterific! I like these a lot. There's just a hint of spice and enough cheese flavor that I could snack on these all day. Thumbs up!
Behka: Okay, I see hazelnut. I wonder if it'll be like a little Nutella bar. Hmm. It's like a tan color. You know what, that's not bad. It tastes like the nougat in a PayDay bar, and I love me a PayDay bar. That's nice! Much better than the other one.
Husbando: Nuts. It tastes like peanut butter.
Jenn: The name reminds me of something Shaggy would scream on Scooby Doo when he got scared of a dude in a mask. Anyways, it’s a nut candy. Kind of like a cow’s tail. It’s pretty solid.
Bananada Com Chocolate.
Behka: There are three of these in this box. I am not putting this in my mouth. It has a banana on it, and I CANNOT stand banana. You guys can have one each. I'm not even going to open it. Nope. No. No way. I have too much respect for myself to ingest a banana on purpose. NOT TODAY, SATAN. NOT TODAY.
Husbando: I like bananas, I like chocolate. This should be good. It's a strange texture. It's like bananas that have just turned black, covered in rubbery chocolate.
Jenn: Unlike some people on the Sedalia Snack Squad, I am not afraid of Bannannannnas. With that being said, this candy is kinda weird. It's got a weird texture, the taste is good but I can't get over the texture.
Behka: So this is guava. Not terrible. I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan, though. Maybe if I had the real fruit? It's pretty similar in texture to the other ones, the Frutabella. I guess it's okay. It seemed like it would be hard in texture, but it was just a little gummy. Melted in my mouth, though.
Husbando: Oh no, is this watermelon? I hate watermelon. Oh, it's Guava. I like guava. It's fine. I bet it's like that guava paste we have in the kitchen.
Jenn: This appears to be some sort of nougat turd. It tastes like one of those all natural fruit leather things. So not the best, not the worst. I’d rather have Gushers.
Behka: Overall, pretty disappointing basket, to be honest. Most of the stuff was just okay, nothing really stood out as being intensely delicious. My favorite was the Delicitos. Least favorite was the one I will not eat or name. Weirdest was the Gelatines. I hope I never cross paths with that one again. I have no doubt next time we will be getting snacks from Taiwan.
Husbando: Pretty good overall. But then, these flavors don't surprise me. I grew up in a mostly Hispanic neighborhood in southern California, so I'm used to food like this. My favorite was the Delicitos. Least favorite was the Amori 1000. Wierdest was the Gelatines. From the clue, I think it's Taiwan, too.
Jenn: Worst -Gelatines. Hands down. So gross. BEST - Nommy pillow snacks (Delicitos). Weirdest - Goiabikas, I don’t like the texture. Best Bosses Day Gift Idea - Human Teeth.
Ryan: Overall, the Pimenta Calabresais my favorite from Brazil. Least favorite is the weird coconut candy and the Gelatines. I approve of most of these, but what passes for candy in Brazil does not agree with my taste pallet.
I hope you'll join us next month for the further adventures of the Sedalia Snack Squad. Here's our clue for next time:
Once known as Formosa in the East China Sea,
They've got snacks with five spices and sweet bubble tea.
It's up for (heated) debate if they're a country or not,
But one thing's for certain: their Yums hit the spot!