Here's an open letter to three cats here in Sedalia, none of whom can read.

Dear Washington, Figgy and Kitten...

I hope there will come a day when I will not be bitten.

The stuff around my house is covered in hair,

From my computer to my mug and every chair.

My arms are scratched and I know it's not on purpose,

But I do wonder if you plan to ursurp us.

Please don't sit on my head - I'm going to suffocate,

I have to be alive to feed you, so that would be great.

You've got plenty of kibble, it's right there in the bowl,

If you could, please chew it when you eat it and not swallow it whole.

Your hairballs are interesting to find all over my house,

If only they could be found instead by my spouse.

You hide from the vacuum, you hide from the thunder,

You hide in my bed and it really makes me wonder -

Why I found you or did you find me?

Either way, please don't destroy your perch tree.

Feline occupants of my house,

Thank you for keeping a look out for a mouse.

But please, let me brush your fur,

I'll do it gently so you can purr.

Now if you'll excuse me please,

I have to tend to my knees,

Since you ran by  like you where whipped,

Making me fall because I was tripped.

Feline-ingly yours,
Behka