Today’s My Sister’s Birthday, So I Think I Am Legally Obligated To Embarrass Her
Aaaah, yes. Siblings. If you haven't had one in your life... there's good and there's bad. My sister Kelly is four years older than I am, and today is her birthday. To celebrate, let's discuss the many things that have happened throughout our sisterdom. Well, she was the big sister... and she Big Sistered. I'll tell you a few stories.
When I was in Kindergarten or so, she would make me play a game she called "recliner". What it entailed was me sitting in a chair, her sitting on top of me facing away, and I had to use my arms and legs to lift up hers. Fun?
See? I was cute, once. I don't know what happened.
Of course she played some pranks on me, too. I was young and naive! I didn't know you weren't supposed to eat mud! But yeah, I had my share. There was another time she wanted to know what cat food tasted like, so of course that meant that I had to eat it first. On this one, I tried not to - but when your sister is sitting on your chest, you pretty much just do it to get it over with. I preferred kibble to the wet, by the way.
Didn't everyone have that wicker chair?
All kids fight, and we had our share of squabbles. I'd "borrow" her clothes without asking, which made her... upset? To put it nicely? There were several incidents with cassette tapes and video tapes and jewelry and jeans and all sorts of stuff.
There was one time we went with the family down to Truman Lake. I don't remember what we were fighting about, but we were fighting. And one thing led to another, and she threw sand at me. Lots of Wet Sand. Sand that got in my eye. It was a big production and I made sure to milk it. It took ages for my mom to get it all out of my eye, and Kelly got in trouble, which was the best part. I THINK, if I remember it right, I got to ride back with my parent's friends as a consolation. We listened to Whitesnake.
It was awesome.
I remember she was always the "cool" sister who was into the latest hep looks that the Sedalia Middle School could offer. At one point she bought into the hairspray thing and had her bangs up waaaaaaaaaaay high, so high that she was nicknamed "Ski Slope". Fashion also brought pain, however. She rolled her jeans so tight one time that my mother had to cut them off. Oh, the crying that happened because of that. Not because the tight jeans hurt, but because those were her BEST jeans.
Because she was so cool and fashion forward and everything, she had a ton of friends and boyfriends and was very social. She was the cool one. I was the one that was a little weird and a little quiet and a little bookish. She was out putting Sun In in her hair and going to Homecoming getting the nickname "Pee Wee", and I was in the basement studying the lyrics of Paula Abdul after Science Club. No nickname. Just "Kelly's Sister". Not quite in the same league, there.
But, I do have one thing on her - I can split five dollars between four people.
We have never let her live that one down. Ever.
"You can't split five dollars between four people, you have to throw a dollar out!"
"Have you not heard of quarters?"
But really, she's the best. She's very caring and giving and passionate and sweet. She's been a friend and a great wife and mom. She took in high schoolers like stray cats and gave them unconditional love and support through tough times. Sure, we've been through the mill, and there have been arguments and fights and tough times, but I can't think of a better human to have as a sister. So, Happy Birthday, Kel. I hope you have a great one.
And if anybody has a photo of the Ski Slope hair.... talk to me.