The Story Of The Time A Bug Chilled On My Pants And I Didn’t Notice
It was kind of a rainy day today, off and on throughout. It made me think back to a similar day a few months ago.
Picture it, if you will. A cool, rainy day, no big deal. I got my pants a little wet on the way home, walking in the grass will do that. I get home, I feed the cats, I check the mail, then it's time to get out of my "business clothes" as I like to call them. When I get home from a day at work and I'm not planning on going out again, I'm getting into my "staying at home" clothes. You know what I mean, I'm sure you have a few sets. Pajama pants, t-shirt, something like that.
Now I'm not a monster. I know you don't necessarily have to wash pants every single time you wear them, particularly if you don't have a messy or physically intensive job. You know, like mine. I'm inside. I'm an office. Most of the time, I'm sat at a chair in front of a computer. So I put my pants up in the bathroom to wear them again the next day (just a normal set of jeans). Most of the time I alternate jeans, but sometimes if I'm feeling lazy I'll just wear them two times before they go in the hamper. I get out my clothes for the next day (I put them in the bathroom the day before so I don't wake Husbando up when I leave). Go about my business.
The next morning.
I get up as per usual, dark time, early. I shut off the phone alarm, go the bathroom (light's already on, remember) and start the day. Brush my teeth, take my vitamins, start getting dressed. I pick up my shirt, socks, and get to the pants.
HUGE BUG. Just chilling right there, on my pant leg.
Now guys, I don't mind bugs. I understand we need them for, you know, all sorts of sciency stuff I will never have the mental faculty to understand. But bugs may not be near me in my house or in my car. If bugs are outside when I am also outside, they are permitted to live so long as they do not approach me. But in my own bathroom? Right in front of my salad*? No.
Immediate panic, obviously, I make a squeaky noise and throw my pants to the floor. Bug falls off of pant leg. I assess the situation and grab our bathroom scale, squashing said bug, which had to be at least three inches long. I googled it (so you don't have to) and it looked like a Dogday Cicada. Now was it that bug? I don't know. I didn't take a picture, I took ACTION. I squashed that thing so hard I was concerned I might have broken the scale for a second. Throwing it away post smashing with some tissues was particularly gross, I still remember the feeling.
Cue getting a new set of pants from the bedroom, waking Husbando for a moment.
But I was able to move on, eventually. I did have the skeevies for a couple hours, though.
My problem now looking back is, how did I NOT NOTICE him? He was on back of my pant leg, so I get why I didn't see him cling to me when I walked into the house. But I took off those pants and folded them up on the shelf. I didn't see him?! HOW?! And then he just chilled there, all afternoon, all evening, all night, not moving?! What is that about? I guess because the light was on?
I'm lucky he didn't decide to start flying around the bathroom that morning, because that would have caused a full on mini panic attack, and nobody needs that at the ungodly hours radio people get up in the morning. Huge bug when I haven't fully woken up yet? That's a recipe for disaster. Two cats, my Father and Husbando would have been in my bathroom wondering what the hell crime had been committed before the sun was even up yet.
And now, here we are. Another rainy, cool day. You best believe these pants are getting double checked when I get home, and they're going in the hamper, even though I only wore them once. I'm not taking any chances.
Have you ever had a bug cling to your clothes? I'm sure we've all had a ladybug on our sleeve at one point when we were kids. Or any other memorable bug experiences?
*Is that the right way to use that meme? I'm not sure. I try to stay "hep" but I usually fail.