Okay, guys, this is one of those stories that I heard one time, and never heard again. 

I remember I was about eight or so, and it was a rainy fall day.  My Mom watched kids from our house, so I was home with them, playing and watching TV.  I don't remember why I was at home and not at school, but I probably faked being sick.  I did that a lot my third grade year for reasons that I know and understand, but are probably not worth unpacking now.

Mom had on some kind of old movie with ghosts in it. I have no idea what it was because I was playing "Guess What I Am" (we didn't know Charades was the name of the game) instead of watching the movie. I did something annoying but not too bad, like pretended to slap one of the other kids.

She called me into the living room and sat me down. She told me a story about when I was a small child, and we lived across the street from my Grandmother.  Apparently I had been typical toddler naughty, and I was being punished accordingly.  I didn't like it, though, so I was pouting in my room.  Mom said after about twenty minutes, I came back into the living room and told her I was sorry for being bad.

She, at the time, said, "Good.  I'm glad you listened to me."

"I didn't."

"Then why are you sorry?"

"Because the nice lady told me to say sorry."

".........What nice lady? Where?"

So she went back to where I was pouting and looked all around, and didn't see anybody.  She asked me again, what lady?

"It was a nice little lady.  She has brown, curly hair.  She has a dress with flowers.  She told me to say sorry but I didn't  know what she was saying."

"What did she say?"

"Deine Mutter versuct dir zu helfen*."

She told me when I got back to school, to ask my teacher for her German dictionary, and if she would translate that for me.  I was like, um, okay Mom, why are you telling me this silly story, I guess I'll talk to the teacher. So anyway, I did (although I did NOT enjoy it) and I got a translation.

"Your mother is trying to help you."

Mom told me we had German relatives (true, which I later found out thanks to 23 and Me).  She didn't know who it was, but she said I should listen to her if she talks to me again. At this point I was eight, trying to ditch school almost every day, and didn't know what to think, but I was scared.  I didn't remember any of that story, and even though it wasn't the same house, I was peeking around corners for months.

Now, I think my Mom was just trying to get me to stop ditching school and stop being obnoxious to the babysitting kids.  I mean, I don't think she ever told anybody else that story. I know I didn't, because I was SUPER SCARED. Like, hyper scared.  What if a ghost came in my room? What would I do? I'd obviously be possessed and have to have some kind of ritual to get it out of me.

I think Mom got that phrase from the movie she was watching. I know she didn't speak German, and we didn't have a German dictionary at home.  I don't know if that really happened or not. But I personally don't believe in ghosts, I just like to hear the stories. So maybe I did, maybe I didn't, maybe she made it up. Or, maybe she really did believe it, or maybe I did talk to a ghost. I don't know.

Do you have any stories about yourself as a kid you can't explain?  Has your kid ever said something you can't explain?  Tell me all about it!

Creepily yours,





*The only way I know what she told me I said is that I remember the translation in English.  I'm not that smart.