I Got What I Wanted As A Little Girl And Now I’m Not Sure I Want To Keep It
All my life, I've seen images of women who are in movies and tv shows and everything, you know how it is. There are certain features you're supposed to have that make you more feminine.
Things like long hair, wearing pretty dresses, having well manicured fingernails, that kind of stuff. I've always been a bit of a tomboy. I have had my hair long before, but I don't like it. It's too long now and I hate it. I hate how it gets super curly and unruly and frizzy and it touches the back of my collar.
I've never really been too much of a dress person either. I had a phase a while back where I'd try to wear one once a week, but that kinda died out. I'm really a jeans and t-shirt person, if I'm being honest with myself. It's just that so often, dresses have things that go along with them that make me uncomfortable. Like having to wear special shoes, or special little bits of jewelry, and they NEVER HAVE POCKETS. So annoying.
But there is one thing I tried to do that was considered stereotypically "feminine". I did always try to grow my fingernails. But so often when I'd try, I'd break them playing as a kid. Or when I got older, I'd have jobs that made it difficult or near impossible to have them. And for some reason, they'd randomly tear or break at the slightest provocation. So I haven't had much success with that... until recently. Like, the last few weeks recently.
I don't know if I've done something differently, but... they're not breaking. My index finger nails aren't too long but the others are almost getting to a point where I'm thinking about trimming them. That has never happened, well, probably almost never. They usually break and I have to file them to an acceptable level so they're not pointy.
Now I'm sure as I write this something will happen tonight and I'll break a nail. That's always the way it goes. But I gotta say, now that I've gotten what I wanted as a kid, I'm... torn. Part of me really likes it, part of me doesn't.
- Looks nice
- Clacking sounds when I'm typing makes me sound super productive
- Back scratches -100% better
- Easy to fidget with in a way people don't notice
- Cats really like the more intensive scritches
- Freedom of choice in polish colors
- Everything gets under them and the feeling is gross
- Makes typing more thought intensive
- A little more self conscious about breaking them now
- Gotta change the way you pick up certain things
So I guess listing out the pros and cons, pros outweigh the cons, huh. Well, I'll certainly see how long this goes.