Why Missouri’s Guber Burger Won’t Be A Million Dollar Whopper

When I heard that Burger King was running a contest to give someone one million dollars for creating the perfect Whopper. I thought, yeah, someone needs to submit our Guber Burger into the contest. Unfortunately, our burger delicacy will never win Burger King's contest for one simple reason.

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Burger King has come up with a few rules to make Million Dollar Whopper entries competition-ready. First, whatever is on the Whopper has to be edible food. Second, they specifically outlaw peanuts and crustacean shellfish because some people have allergies to peanuts or shellfish. Their guidelines go on to define the peanut ban, "Examples of peanuts include, but are not limited to things like actual peanuts & peanut butter."

I get it, a major fast food joint can't tout a Whopper that someone may be allergic to as this great next big burger. Yet, that doesn't stop some of our local restaurants like Kehde's BBQ and Goody's from putting it on their menu.

Of course, I think a Guber Burger should be cooked on a flat top, not flame-broiled, with a sesame seed bun perfectly toasted. That, however, is an article for another time. I will add, that you can't change how Burger King cooks the meat in their million-dollar contest either.

Since there's no way a Guber Burger will be a Million Dollar Whopper, I decided to create my own Whopper according to their rules. I came up with a Whopper that includes American and Mozzarella cheese, tomato sauce, pepperoni, a cheese stick, and that deep-fried Chicago delicacy, a Pizza Puff.

What do you think? I think it's a gut-busting burger that's perhaps a little bit too much of a good thing. Think I'll win a million bucks for it? Yeah, probably not. Oh well, that's OK, I'm going to go grab a Guber Burger and call it a day.