Apparently I’m A Dirty Dirty Criminal And Didn’t Even Know It
I like to think I'm a good person. Don't we all? I mean, I don't intend to cause anyone harm, after all.
If I asked you if you were a CRIMINAL, you'd probably say no. And you'd probably believe it. Well, turns out we're wrong.
According to a new survey, the average person breaks the law 260 times a year, or five times a week. Now, granted, they're all really minor laws -but still, illegal is illegal. Here are the top 10 most common laws people break.
1. Jaywalking, or crossing after the sign says "Don't Walk."
I have Jaywalked, yes. Not in a while, but I have.
2. Taking ketchup packets, creamer, or other little single-serving packets from restaurants.
I didn't even know this was a crime. They offer you packets at the drive thru! Why would it be wrong to take one?
3. Taking supplies from work.
I admit, I'm guilty of this one. I took home a box of tissues the other day. But we still have plenty and I only took one box!
4. Pocketing the money when you get the wrong amount of change.
I don't think I've done that. If I did, I don't remember, so it must have been a small amount.
5. Eating or drinking while driving.
Guilty. Not lately, but guilty.
6. Using someone else's wifi.
Not at home, but... yeah. I have.
7. Downloading or watching pirated movies online.
Finally, one I haven't done!
8. Biking on the sidewalk.
When I was a kid, yeah. I don't think I've been on a bike for a few years.
9. Downloading pirated music.
Back in the day, yes. Now, never. Why steal it when you can just listen to it online?
10. Using your phone while driving.
Guilty. I have. Most of the time I don't. If I do something it's usually when I'm sat at a stoplight. I don't talk on the phone while driving. But then, it's not like anybody calls me anymore. Everyone texts me.
Well, turns out I'm a horrible, unstoppable criminal. Luckily for me the police have better things to do than try to stop me from eating fries in the car. Wait, or do they? Have I just incriminated myself?
Probably. If I see ya in the joint, I'll bring you an extra ketchup packet.
Criminally yours, Behka