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Mommy Madness Winner: “I Know What Stretch Armstong’s Blood Taste Like…”

Stretch ArmstongWe received lots of Mommy Madness stories for Mother’s Day, but here’s our favorite!  T=Thanks to her story, this mom won a a Mother’s Ring from Reed & Sons Jewelers worth $400.

Boys have the reputation of being a little ornery and barbaric at times, but what did Stretch Armstong ever do these kids? 

Raising boys can be quite a challenge. There were two things would send me running to check on them: When things got “very quiet” or I’d hear the words, “Are you okay?” This particular time, things were very quiet.

We raised our kids during the time when a green, heavy, gel-filled doll for boys called “Stretch Armstrong” was popular. A couple neighborhood boys were over and my two boys had been playing outside for most of the day with them. Eventually, they all came in and were playing in my youngest sons’ room. Then things “got quiet,” which sent me exploring.
When I opened the door, the boys had Stretch Armstrong laying on the floor and were sitting in a circle around him with drumsticks in their hands. Poor Stretch Armstrong had been pierced numerous times in the belly by the drumsticks, and the kids were licking the gel off the drumsticks. That barbaric, ritual-type scene is still in my mind. It was scary AND gross.

I called poison control and found out Stretch’s insides were not poison. I then called the other parents and told them their kids had been eating Stretch Armstrong’s insides! Afterwords, I considered calling a counselor, but could not decide if they needed one, or if I did! Witnessing that is still with me!

Last year I heard on one of the vintage TV programs that a Stretch Armstrong, in good shape, was worth up to $6000.00. I called my sons and told what I’d heard on the program. If they had taken care of poor Stretch and spared their mother of witnessing a horror story, they’d both have a little extra money in their billfold!

This just proves crime does not pay kids. Do not eat your toys, they could be worth a lot of money one day. Poor Mr. Stretch!


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