Christmas Comes Earlier and Earlier with Japanese Holiday Teaser for ‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’

Christmas means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To the devout, it commemorates the birth of Jesus Christ and the symbolic coming of mankind’s heaven-sent savior to the earthly plane. To countless more, it’s a time when we gather together with family and loved ones to share in peace on earth, goodwill toward men, and beverages that combine that wonders of alcohol and dairy. To children, it is one of the several annual occasions on which you get presents. And to adrenaline addicts who like to live life to the limit even when slouching in for an afternoon at the cineplex, it’s when xXx: The Return of Xander Cage parkours into theaters.

Okay, so technically the new sequel to the Vin Diesel-led action franchise doesn’t go public until January 20, but that hasn’t stopped Paramount’s Japanese PR department from slapping together a brief 30-second trailer for the upcoming film. To the jaunty strains of classic seasonal ballet The Nutcracker, Diesel’s extreme-sports secret agent Xander Cage punches, kicks, headbutts and smashes his way through legions of enemies just in time for milk and cookies. Nina Dobrev squeals while firing an automatic assault rifle, then looks straight into the camera to marvel, “Holy-” before getting cut off. Is she saying “Holy night, silent night, all is calm, all is bright,” in a slight mis-remembrance of the classic carol’s lyrics? The trailer leaves that question tantalizingly unanswered.

Not too much to take in here, aside from the curious emphasis of hand-to-hand combat in this trailer vs. vehicular adventure in the U.S.-released clip. Martial arts go over better in overseas markets, so it’s only natural they’d play that element up, but it’s still curious to see how advertisements for a movie change based on region. And that, Asian box-office money, is the true reason for the season.